A Little More Detailed Entry
Well, as you may already know, Erin and I are having a little boy. We don't have any names for little boys, as yet... which proved to be an interesting few hours as we picked up license plates for my car (last night), ran to Wal-Mart, and did other things. It was interesting to suggest names and for various reasons nix each others suggestions. Granted, for a while, we were both suggesting complete nonsense names, but still, the process of locating a pool of names we both feel comfortable with to pull from is proving... interesting.
Erin's dad, Jim (no blog yet), suggested that people should be allowed to suggest names but they needed to provide a reason for the name they are suggesting. I agree with that, in part, but feel like the reason should be good and not something along the lines of. "I think it's cool," or, "Jordan can be used for boys and girls." In short, if you want to suggest a name, we are happy to receive the suggestion (though we reserve the right to keep our decision(s) quiet until child is born), but they have to be accompanied with a valid reason otherwise we delete and ignore the suggestion.
Truth told, I think the world was expecting Erin and I to have a little girl as our first baby. That has thrown me into a bit of a tailspin... some of the reasons are really more vain than anything else... well, I don't know if that is true (vanity), but one thing that gets me is that my family (brothers and sisters) have a billion boys. It seems that, against odds and nature, we are more likely to produce male offspring than female. This is not bad, as the male sperm are smaller, swim faster, and etc., but on the flip-side of that is the notion that nature generally produces more female babies than it produces male -- unless you are a Hattaway and then you produce male babies (note, brother Jared only has daughters).
As a result of that, I find myself rotating between disbelief and awe. We are having a boy and we don't know what is meant to come next. Okay, what comes next is preparing for a little boy to enter our lives full time. What comes next is for us to find some suitable names we can both agree on. What comes next is that we change our view of the situation (either through a paradigm shift or chakabuku (sp)) and move forward.
Honestly, I think Jim and Lisa (parents-in-law) are the most excited, followed by Erin. Haven't heard much on the line of her brother, and my mother was pretty happy for us, though, when last I spoke with her my dad had not found out the news. So... you know.... We are having a boy.
This really throws my world into a weird place. One of the big reasons: Boy Scouts of America. Now, one would think, "Just don't participate," and that would be great... until you realize that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints uses the BSA as it's activity area for young men. They start in the Cub Scouts, work their way up to Webelos, and then become Boy Scouts. When activities happen, at least in the US, they happen around the Scouting organization.
To come straight to the point, I am pretty opposed to this organization.
However, moving forward, I am not looking at baby Hattaway as an infant. I am looking at baby Hattaway as an infant, toddler, child, teenager, adult, and on. As a parent-to-be I want this kid to grow up happy and healthy and active and... well, a lot of things. And yet, the truth of the matter is, I am probably over-thinking the entire situation; which, interestingly enough, isn't going to stop the ol' brain from cranking away.
So, how do I feel? Ambivalent, scared, excited, frightened, and a lot more.
John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West
Real Heroes Fly
Comments
Ok, let's hear it. What do you have against the BSA?
BTW, I can give you a whole list of potential names for the baby. There are quite a few Hattaway's both famous and infamous which you could draw from.
Posted by: John Hattaway | April 15, 2008 2:07 PM
The BSA??? In the spirit of full disclosure, I am an Eagle Scout. As an Eagle Scout I spent several years in the Boy Scouts. As it is also the activity arm of my faith, it is something that one cannot be LDS and not know something about the BSA.
My BSA experience is almost completely negative. I had a series of scout masters who were more weekend warriors (in the armchair cowboy kind of sense than the National Guard) than men interested in improving, or assisting in improving, the lives of the young men they are charged with teaching, training, and leading.
My experience with the BSA included scout camps, the Order of the Arrow, and other awards and recognitions. These came from a district that, after I left it, ended up having problems with overspending and crimes. The districts scout camp was eventually sold to pay off the accumulated debts. This was not unheard of as things like Order of the Arrow were all rather corrupt and required a lot of kowtowing to the young men (and old) who were in charge of the organization.
Becoming and Eagle meant nothing to me, other than the opportunity to drive a car. Yes, my parents were (past tense) one of those sets of parents, they required me to accomplish something before I could have what I wanted. I did not want to be an Eagle. I don't use that badge or award or achievement, it is not shared. That achievement is my mother's and, though it remains in my possession, belongs to her.
Any love of camping or hiking comes not from my experiences with that organization, but more as a result of my own desire to know whether or not I enjoy camping and hiking (I do). In my experience as a scout, the scoutmasters were more likely to try and not include me (even though I was often one of the youth leaders), they encouraged me not to come on trips, they did not create or foster an atmosphere of accomplishment, and on many camping trips put me in direct danger (I believe knowingly) to try and influence me not to participate any longer.
In my experience, more scout masters have caused unnecessary trouble and danger to the young men in their charge. They are not qualified (interest is not a qualification) and should not have been allowed to be in charge of troops or anything else. The news, at least once a year, shares the idiocy that comes to light from lay scout masters.
The existence of a paid scouting program, Professional Scouters is as stupid (to me) as the lay scout master. These are men who are want you to believe they are grown up, mature, and capable and, in reality, they are scared kids who didn't have the temerity necessary to get real jobs and move on with life.
Finally, most of the people I've met, all over the country, that end up leading scouts are, often, the least common denominator among a group. How can we expect someone to be a role model for young men who we expect to be future leaders, who, in their personal lives, are not leaders, not capable, and not educated.
Granted, these are my opinions and my observations and are colored by my experiences. I may have the opportunity (in the future) to try and alter them... though, truth told, I enjoy being outside, I enjoy camping, and if that is what I can share with others, I am willing to do it. I will not volunteer to be a part of an organization that I see as corrupt and no longer pertinent to my religion or to society today.
Final point: it is easier, much much easier, to get an Eagle award now than when I got mine almost twenty years ago; and it was easier than then twenty years before that. When a 12 year old can get his Eagle through little or no effort and no time (an old requirement), than how valuable is the time spent going to be in another twenty years?
Posted by: smokingpen | April 15, 2008 3:13 PM
Wow, I was just going to give some name suggestions until I read your BSA rant. In the same spirit of full disclosure, I am also an Eagle Scout and agree with some of the above observations. I must have been more fortunate that you in the adult scout leaders that I experienced... cannot think of one that was not very concerned about the welfare of the boys in the troop and ensuring that we learned something useful. However, with popular American society's continual decline in morality (and the associated pressure, legal and otherwise, to force the BSA to comply with this decline), I have serious doubts that the LDS Church (and many other churches that sponsor Scout troops) will still be associated with the BSA by the time your son or even, my 2 sons, is/are old enough to participate. I have had the feeling that the LDS Church has been preparing for the possibility of this split since it introduced the Duty to God program. Should the day come when the BSA yields to popular, or legal, pressure to lower its standards I can see the Duty to God program strengthened to take over the role that Scouting has held within the LDS church since the early 20th century. But that's just me...
So here's my suggestion -
Taylor Swigart Hattaway
Justification: Unless I am mistaken, Taylor is your middle name as well as your mother's maiden name. Swigart is, of course, Erin's maiden name. Hattaway is in the generally accepted tradition of children being given their father's surname as their own. Regardless of what we think of our family (immediate and ancestral), they influence who we are and should give us our first sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves, so I am fond of searching the family tree on both sides in order to find the perfect name for a child, which we did not decide for certain (even though we had ideas beforehand) until we laid our eyes on them for the first time, that will also serve as an inspiration to them as they turn their hearts to their fathers (and mothers) later in their life.
Bt it is not my choice and is really none of my business... maybe just go with Rhododendron or Skunkweed or whatever it was.
-Keith
Posted by: Keith | April 15, 2008 10:55 PM
Thanks Keith,
I think that is a name combination we have or are considering. Erin is keeping a list. Mostly of the names I don't say "No" to right off the bat. She actually pulled her list out (that I was not supposed to be aware of) and started jotting things down.
On the BSA side of things... I actually agree. Though, Dad was here yesterday and we discussed this (and a few other topics) for a while... dad's opinion is that it will not change under President Monson. Who knows. I hope that it changes in the near future, but anticipate that I will get to participate.
Thanks for the comments.
Posted by: smokingpen | April 16, 2008 10:37 AM