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February 28, 2008

Going on Hiatus

Everything is okay.

I got in the mail, yesterday Kim Harrison's latest book, The Outlaw Demon Wails. I believe, given a cryptic message Erin sent earlier that I might've received my copy of Neil Gaiman's Book Day released title Odd and the Frost Giant's both of which get to sit in limbo until I finish the book I am reading and find time around school.

Really, though, the point of this post is to say that I think I am going on another hiatus from updating for a while. Will probably last about a week; may go longer. Regardless, Next Thursday I will post to let you all know whether or not I am continuing with the hiatus.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 26, 2008

House

Recently, Erin and I have started watching House on Fox. For those who are not familiar with the show, it follows the antics of one House M.D. as he diagnoses problems with patients. The problem, though, is that he has a tendency to never actually see the patients he is diagnosing, has three (or four - I really can't tell this season) assistants, and is more crotchety and irritable than me.

You might assume that House is merely a medical procedural show along the lines of E.R.. And if you are one of those people, you would be wrong. Instead, House is probably more closely related to a crime procedural than a medical one. Yes, it is set in a hospital; and yes, it does deal with medical issues; but no, outside of setting and what the main issues are, the similarities between House and other medical shows take a quantum leap in opposite directions.

Rather, the main character, House, has the opinion that everyone lies. As a result, he has morally ambiguous assistants that are willing to (in some cases) break into patients houses to search the homes for things that don't belong or could be the cause of whatever odd and out of place malady they are suffering from. As is true of most medical shows (that I've seen) the patients that House treats are actually have very rare and very strange diseases. The stranger the disease, the more abstract or obscure the symptoms, the better the program.

However, the draw to House is not that it is about medicine or that I can relate to the central protagonist, but the way in which medicine is practiced and the ethics that are followed/ignored as a result of the doctors. House, the doctor, employs people that will stand up for themselves, that will contradict him, and that will (also) challenge his assertions. Sometimes, though, he has to go to great lengths to get them to actually do the job he wants them to do. As a self-assured individual, it becomes easy for people to just assume that he is a) always right; or b) doesn't give a hoot about what they think.

Regardless, the show ends up being an exploration not only into the characters that are a part of the cast, but also into whether or not the patients are actually telling the truth about their condition and what led to them ending up in the hospital. In most instances (all that I have seen so far) House has been able to determine the cause of the disease further solidifying his edict, "Everything happens for a reason." This is not to be confused with the religious edict which begins (though unstated) "I don't know why this happened, but everything happens for a reason."

In the world of House, everything not only happens for a reason, but also that some reasons are intentionally left blank to seemingly protect the individual.

During recent episodes we saw:

A teenage boy who is a faith healer, brought low when it turns out he was infected with Herpes from a sexual encounter.

A woman who was unexplainably sick... until they took her socks off.

A mother who wouldn't allow the doctors to test her daughter's bone marrow as a transplant option because the daughter really wasn't (biologically) hers... only to find out it was a treatable kind of cancer.

The show does an amazing job at delivering a mystery that needs to be solved. Setting up the state in which the problem took place (initially). Obfuscating the problem, often with tricky or complicated medical procedures. Determining the truth or legitimacy of the stated claims (of the patients) - as well as a moral argument over whether or not House should do what he is doing to establish fact and truth. And finally, toward the end, a solution to the problem, often after discovering enough (or all) of the information so that an education deduction can be made.

Sherlock Holmes, a creation of Arthur Conan Doyle, said, "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth...." House takes this to its conclusion and proves that once everything else has been eliminated, the improbably, even the impossible, often result in the cause and, as a result, the solution.

This show has proven to be very enjoyable and fun to watch. At times, like most medical-related shows (or current crime procedurals), there is a graphic level in what they show you, lots of blood, organs, and etc., but this is the exception rather than the rule in the show, with most of the episodes resulting in external factors and external stimuli to determine the problem rather than cutting into the body to explore and find the solution.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 25, 2008

Monday or Is It?

Today is Monday. I know this because yesterday I got up, showered, shaved (not a daily habit even though I despise facial hair), and went to church. I knot today is Monday because I woke up this morning and could still take a test (though intentionally late). I know it is Monday because it feels like the weight of the world is resettling on my shoulders.

This is what happens on Monday's:

I wake up.
I dress.
I eat.
I go to school.
I try to remember what it was we were doing in classes.
I go to work.
I take tests.
I go home.

I guess I sometimes wonder if my attitude is the result of the time spent at BYU or the time spent in Provo or the time spent in Utah.

Lately, I've found myself very unhappy with life in Provo. I don't like to drive around town. If the weekend comes, I am more happy to a) leave town, or b) not leave the house at all. When I can be convinced that I need to leave the house and go to the store, the mall, CostCo, or wherever, I generally find the impact of people all around me rather tedious and hard to deal with.

At Christmas-time, I intentionally ordered the majority of the gifts that were given (Erin and my parents in case anyone was curious) online. I didn't have to leave the house or the office (old job at that point). I didn't have to deal with the mass of people that seem to congregate all in the same places at exactly the same time. When Erin's parents showed up, I did have to ride around with her dad and show him where to buy presents, but that was an exception. I did not drive and I only made suggestions.

Most of the Christmas shopping was done by Erin and her parents, sans me.

Yes, I am a grumpy person when it comes to crowds. If you know me, you know, in advance, that I don't like them. I get all weird in large groups of people. This is why it took marrying Erin to get me to go see a general session of the LDS Conference live even though I live about 40 minutes away. This is also why I don't go to forums and assemblies on campus and why I won't be attending my own graduation.

As a result of interacting with the students on campus, I have taken to wearing my iPod everywhere I walk and listening to music. Yes. I would rather listen to music than listen to people talk about inane topics. It grew to a head when I heard a couple of guys in a conversation. The conversation, essentially:

First guy, "We've been on several dates."
Second guy, "So? Are you gonna, you know..."
First guy, "I don't know. She's started canceling our plans lately."
Second guy, "Well, whatcha gonna do?"
First guy, "She does it again and I think I'm going to have to DTR her."
Second guy, "Wow. I think you should."

At that point I stopped walking at a speed I could hear them. However, DTR (Define The Relationship), church yesterday, class, how to take advantage of someone, your weekend, my weekend, the color of her outfit, and etc. are all topics I am not (at all) interested in hearing. People have a tendency to speak very loudly and so that everyone (including the dead) can hear the conversation.

It used to be that I was just disgruntled by Provo. This was years ago, before I moved back here to go to school and spend a large portion of my time on campus. I am still that way, but I knew that if I moved somewhere a little more sane, a lot less enthusiastic about being Mormon, I was generally okay. I like my religion, it just feels as though people in "Happy Valley" are a little more serious about the religion than in other places in the state.

I sense, though, that moving within this state is not going to fix me, this time. I need something more. I need to be somewhere else.

You see, there are bandaids that exist, the IKEA's of the world, the ability to hide in our little apartment (Erin and me), the draw to various attractions, natural wonders, and the beauty of the state; but all of that seems to pale in comparison to my actually being here. Yes. You heard that correctly. The things that might draw me to Utah, to this state, pale when you compare them against my actually being here.

This is not an indictment on Utah or on the people here. You can live your lives in any way you see fit. However, as my dislike and disenfranchisement with the state, the city, and even the school I am attending is reaching a rather interesting level, I can only say this:

When I am able to leave as a result of my graduating and finding work outside of the state of Utah, I will leave.

Yup. I am going to move. I am going to pack up Erin, the as-yet-unnamed and gendered child, and leave the state. Whether I go directly into the next stage of education OR we follow a different plan, I am leaving. Utah no longer supports what I am looking for or what I want to accomplish.

We may go to New England.

We may throw a dart at a world map and find a way to go to wherever it lands (excluding Idaho).

We may become Bedouins, roaming the developed plains of the United States (avoiding Utah and Idaho), but regardless of what we may do... we are leaving the state.

Now, for your reading pleasure and to further illustrate the temperament of the State of Utah, of Provo, and of BYU I copy, from The Daily Universe, a Letter to the Editor:

Chill Out

My name is Nathan. You have probably seen me standing outside wearing my cloak. Until recently it was my habit to stand around and sing in between classes to amuse myself. It struck me as a fairly harmless activity that, while a bit unusual, was nevertheless rather mundane. Furthermore, I had gotten only pleasant comments from the passers by.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I was stopped by a policeman who had gotten a call from someone about me. He told me it was well within my rights as a BYU student to stand outside in the cold and sing in between classes. I found the incident amusing and, though I thought the whole matter a little strange, continued my singing. What I found less amusing was the police officer stopping by approximately a week later to tell me that I had to stop, that I was disturbing the peace, and that I would be issued a citation if I continued. Needless to say, I no longer sing outside at BYU.

Why am I going to the trouble of writing this? Because I find the whole incident greatly troubling. First, it seems wrong for a student at BYU to be stopped from doing something D&C 25:12 calls a prayer. More than that, however, I am disturbed by the way in which my singing was handled. I am bothered by the fact that whoever had something against my singing called the police instead of heeding the advice in D&C 42:88 to talk to me by myself.

I am also bothered by the fact that BYU police seem to value the appeasement of a small but vocal minority over any actual laws or rules (which, I remind the reader, I was specifically told I was not breaking). And I am also somewhat bothered by the fact that this whole incident has worked to support the valuing of conformity over tolerance. In short, I think that some BYU students need to chill and I think that the BYU police need to grow a spine.

--name withheld

I have seen this guy and thought about telling him to shut up. I chose not to. Instead I use my iPod.

My point in all this is that I am tired of what is happening around me and I have the right to make a change (when my task is complete). I am telling the world, you all, that I plan to make that change.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 22, 2008

Late Nights and the Following Mornings

Last night, late Erin and I drove to the Salt Lake City Airport to pick up her brother. That costs, outside of gas (none of which matters, in case anyone was wondering) about $1.00 to park and then go inside to wait for him to walk out along the hall that dumps people into the baggage claim area. We got there early, saw that his flight had landed, I noticed that the gate was TBD and the baggage claim was 1 and so we found a place to sit down. Almost as soon as we sat down, he walked out. His flight was still marked TBD.

As we left the airport, a powerful-bad smell permeated the car (outside heated air) that caused both Erin and I to scrunch our noses. Erin said the smell was of heavy brine. Her brother wanted to know what that was. I turned off the heater until we were farther along and was too tired to try to pay attention to the series of (seemingly) non-sequitur conversations that passed between the other two occupants of the car.

The result, since we woke up around 6 a.m. yesterday morning to go to the doctor for the ultrasound which can be seen here. I didn't go back to bed as I had to go to work, go to a meeting, class, then back to work and home. I did expect to take a nap at some point but a new notebook was screaming my name and I decided to cozy up to the notebook rather than sleep... while I watched BoyzIIMen sing on Don't Forget the Lyrics.

It's amazing the shows you fall into watching at night when you are no longer working. Weird. I was actually flipping back and forth between Don't Forget the Lyrics and the new season of LOST, even though Charlie appears to be dead and only six members of the Oceanic Flight actually make it off the island (the stories are being told in present time (island) with flash-forwards to a period when they survivors are no longer on the island). This is an interesting conceit, from a different direction from what the producers were using in the first three seasons; and I am still trying to decide whether or not I am enjoying this new season. Sure, they drag me into story lines (e.g. spending an entire season killing this character by not killing him... thanks Desmond) and then frustrate me by not moving those same storylines forward either quickly enough or in a way that I feel like I should be back next week to see what happens.

24, my current guilty pleasure for seasonal TV watching, has been delayed until January 2009. This is disappointing, but given the fact that Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) spent some of the production months in one of the L.A. County prisons for drunk driving and probation violation, it is probably one of the best things to happen to the series. What caught me off guard, though, in the pre-season run-up and rumor mills has been that Tony Almeida was making a comeback after being killed at the beginning of Season 4. I was curious as to how they were going to pull that off - oh, and instead of being a possible successor to the Jack Bauer crown, he is a bad guy.

Anyway, TV watching aside, we got home (after picking up and then dropping off Erin's brother) after midnight and went to bed. Sleep does not feel very good (to me) as I felt like I was up and down all night long. I do know that at one point Erin said, "John, you're snoring on me," which caused me to have to roll over and snore in the opposite direction.

The outcome was that I did not get up when my alarm went off this morning. I did move from the bed to the sofa after Erin got up and got ready for work. I won't share why the move, but the movement caused me to pull one of the blankets over me and to go back to sleep. At one point between when Erin left and when I finally got up, I thought I heard my phone "ping" with a new message sound... but it didn't. And the phone was next to my head and I'd gotten bedroom pillows to lay against rather than the front room sofa pillows. Nice.

Getting up was hard. I still don't (exactly) feel like I got much (if any) sleep. I did go back to being cozy with the new notebook this morning, checked my email, and tried to call my webhost for the majority of the websites in response to an email I got yesterday from the company. When I spoke with the designated CSR to help and resolve the issue (I am transitioning from employee to customer and there are hoops that I still get to leap through) the person was so inept I ended up hanging up on her and emailing the person I'd emailed back and forth with yesterday. It was interesting.

Actually, I wrote a rather long email about the ineptitude of the employee and how, as a customer, I didn't appreciate the tone and nature of the call only to delete everything that was not immediately germane to what needed to happen. I am still waiting, hours later, for the individual to email me back with what needs to happen.

Truth told, I can see why some people get frustrated enough with that company to walk away with a bad taste in their mouths. In this case, I am more than a bit frustrated. But, it will get resolved and I can move on.

When I couldn't immediately take care of the issue from yesterday (which suddenly reminds me of other things that need taking care of that I have not done yet... dang), I decided that the best solution was to get dressed and go to class and then work. Even though I wanted to sit around home and do nothing... well, not nothing I did have some plans, I do need to bring in some money to help pay the bills and I do need to do well in my classes... anyway, I packed up my stuff and went to school.

The last couple of days has been interesting and exciting.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 21, 2008

Transition and Change

NOTE: Inherently religiously oriented material!!!

Recently The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints underwent a change in the hierarchical leadership. Essentially, the former President and presiding authority over the Church, Gordon Bitner Hinckley passed away due to complications brought on by old age, and his First Counselor and President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles took the place as President of the Church, President of the First Presidency, and presiding authority. The only wait in the change was a courtesy to the Hinckley family until after President Hinckley was buried - which took place approximately six days after President Hinckley passed away.

The process of succession within the Church is that the senior most apostle, determined by time served within the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, becomes the presiding authority. After Joseph Smith, the founder and first President of the Church passed away, the Church fell into an interregnum where Brigham Young, the senior member of the Quorum (or Council) of the Twelve took over leadership of the Church. Records indicate that he had two councilors, but the presiding body, the first presidency, was not re-established for three nearly three years after the passing of Joseph Smith.

This pattern, an interregnum of leadership, was followed by John Taylor who, after a period of time, also re-organized the First Presidency. Upon John Taylor's passing Wilford Woodruff, the fourth President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints received revelation that there would be no period of interregnum and the First Presidency of the Church was established immediately upon burial of John Taylor.

As a result of this, the pattern of succession has been very well established and guessing who the next leader of the Church will be is not necessary. In order for anyone but President Thomas S. Monson to be the presiding authority over the Church one of two things would have to happen:

First: President Monson would have to pass away;
Second: President Monson would have to suggest another member of the Quorum to take his place as presiding authority.

As a result of this, the longest surviving member of the Quorum of the Twelve becomes the presiding authority over the Church.

However, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints one of the tenets of our religion is that Joseph Smith (founder/first prophet) restored the gospel of Jesus Christ as Christ taught it when he was on the Earth. Essentially, we believe that there was a falling away, or apostasy, and as a result not only was the authority to lead God's ordained church lost to the world, but the Priesthood authority, and many basic principles of the gospel were lost to the world.

After Christ was crucified on the Cross, died, was resurrected, and then ministered unto the 11 Apostles of the time, the presiding authority being Peter, he left the Apostles to determine who would be the next member of that governing body. At that time Peter created a list of requirements for the new member of the body:

  1. Had to be at Christ's baptism by John
  2. Had to be present at the death of Christ
  3. Had to be a disciple of Christ during his lifetime

The outcome to these requirements was an eventual termination of authority, or an eventual termination of who could be a member of the presiding body of the Church at that time. Since Luke, one of the writer's of the Gospels (also bears his name) is also the writer of Acts, and it is in Acts that we discover Peter's rules for a new apostle, it is also important to note that at no time (in the New Testament) does he offer any further evidence of a presiding authority having changed the requirements for becoming one of the Twelve.

Since the Twelve were the recognized presiding body of the Church, and since you had to know Christ to be a member of this body, it then becomes necessary to determine whether or not it was intentional, on Peter's part, to create a body that cannot survive past the first generation. Essentially, was Peter intentionally destroying the Quorum of Twelve or was this an oversight on his part?

Regardless, the membership of this body is important enough to note that Luke takes the time (joining the Church after Christ's death, burial, and resurrection and being an historian and someone who had to gather information to write the books he writes) to tell us how members of the governing body were selected; but at no time does he rescind this and explain that a successor to Peter, or Peter himself, made a change to the hierarchy and membership into the Twelve.

What Luke does do is lay out a narrative concerning the transition from a Jewish preaching missionary effort to a Gentile preaching missionary effort. More specifically, he outlines how Peter was requested, and went, to a Roman town and met with a God Fearer (someone who practices Judaism but does not fully convert due to significant physical requirements). At the same time he introduces Paul, who was a persecutor of the Church and someone who may (or may not) have been a murderer of early Christians.

Throughout the early Christian narrative, and at no time, does anyone take the time to indicate a change in how the authority to lead the Church changes from those who personally knew Christ and worshipped with him to people who were Gentile converts of the Gospel or Jewish converts. Rather, this is omitted - even though a change like this would be very significant to the Church at that time.

What does happen is that the Church narrative moves from Peter to Paul. In this context Paul is rightfully referred to as an "apostle" but not necessarily as one of the Twelve Apostles. The term apostle, very broadly, refers to anyone who is engaged in the missionary work of the Church. So, any disciple of Christ who was sent out to preach Christ's gospel was also an Apostle of Christ. Granted, we restrict the meaning of the word, probably as a result of various changes in English lexicon since the 16th century when the New Testament was translated for King James (e.g. what gives us the King James version of the Bible) what this does not mean is how we look at Paul.

We can draw similarities between various religions and leadership roles, as well as business and leadership roles, and historical leadership roles to indicate that Paul was (most likely) a leader of some kind within the Church. That is not in contention. What is in contention was whether or not he held the authority necessary to lead the Church if all of the other Apostles (in this case membership in the Quorum of the Twelve) passed on.

Keeping in mind that the method of leadership and that membership in the presiding body of the Church at that time required you to know Christ and that a period of no greater than 70 years could've passed before that leadership was extinguished, the question of Paul having that authority is a significant question that can be explored.

However, right of authority and succession of authority become two separate arguments in this instance. Where in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we have a clearly defined succession of authority and where any worthy male member of the Church can become a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, right of authority is less of an issue than succession of authority.

During Peter's presiding over the Church, there was a period of extreme expansion. The new Christian theology was spread not only to Jews but also to God-fearers and from them to the Gentile nations as a whole. Historical methodology of the Roman Catholic church had allowed for Priests to go among the heathen in the Old and New Worlds thereby converting large numbers of people. These conversion, however, were not always without some cost to the principles of Christ's Gospel. Specifically, over time, various traditions of the people being converted, those who worshiped idols or other gods, crept into the burgeoning Christian faith.

This is what Paul is best known for. Paul's letters to the various peoples he converted or helped convert was an effect to try and stifle the influx of non-orthodox ideas to the new religion. He was both verbose and opinionated. He may have also had the power (as a Roman citizen) to travel how and where he wanted without recourse. As a missionary, and a convert, this is a powerful tool to have in Peter's arsenal. This, however, does not denote that Paul was one of the leading Apostles. It does mean he was a leader of some influence.

Consider that Paul, as a missionary or as a regional leader of the growing faith is tasked with trying to keep that faith as pure as possible. In order to do that he had a couple of options: first, he could spend all of his time traveling from region to region trying to correct the errors in practice and worship that were creeping up; or second, he could write letters (to the literate) in the hopes that his letters would hold some sway over how the religion was to be practiced.

The first option is actually a given. Even today the leadership (this includes the 12, the 70, and the auxiliary leadership) not only writes talks, writes, letters, but they travel extensively to keep the Church in check. Corporations write memos and travel to regional centers and operations to make sure the corporate ethos is being followed. In organizing a body of people, it makes sense that Paul, like Peter and others, would be called upon to travel and write and censure when they could not be in person.

Paul, however, was doomed to failure. Christianity, as a new faith, was not popular and there were a lot of people, not the least of which were the Jews of the time, who wanted to see it destroyed. Moreover, it flew in the face of the pagan religions; and regardless of Paul's ability (as a Roman) to travel, he was subject to Roman law. This law would eventually lead him to petition a death sentence with the Caesar of the time.

Still, Paul has not been established as a) a member of the governing body; or b) the successor to Peter. Rather what he was, was someone who was assigned to keep people in line, preach the Gospel, and to write letters helping new converts remain true to the faith he was preaching. He was a man of some authority, though how much authority, is in question. And, since he was not a disciple of Christ during his life, and no other evidence of succession exists, he was not likely to have been allowed into the governing body of the Church at that time.

Moreover, the Church at the time of Peter was growing rapidly with a lot of coverts. As people would discuss the new teachings, they would (in effect) become missionaries, though not ordained, and would spread that word to friends and family. This would then spread to others who would discuss the ideas (Greeks) and how it affected their current faith (Jews). The outcome was a conversion process that required a wider base of leadership.

On top of that, the members of the governing body of would be required, to keep order within the Church, to travel rather extensively. This would keep them separated for long periods of time. As men died, replacing them would require that the presiding officer (Peter) find out about the death and then locate a worthy disciple who met his requirements. The outcome from this, though not impossible, would mean that succession of leadership would be limited by time, distance, and association.

Whether or not Christ, who prophesied that the Church would have a "falling away" before his death knew about these restriction on the leadership, on preaching his Gospel, and on succession is not known. What we can infer, however, is that rapid growth, difficulty in choosing a successive leadership, intentionally limiting who can be a member of the governing body, and geography as well as the political atmosphere and government and persecution from established religious practices all led to an eventual disintegration of the Church and a floundering for a period of time.

After the death of the Apostles (who knew Christ) Christianity did not die. Instead, the leadership and responsibility of the faith went into receivership with lower-level leaders (those that did not know Christ, converts, Gentiles, Jews, and etc.) taking charge of the Church as a whole and spreading the word. At the same time, these leaders, having to rely upon their own wisdom, understanding, and learning, could not keep in check the encroachment of pagan ideas into the religion. Also, having to interpret the gospel, they made changes to help support their interpretations.

All of this led to a period of apostasy where the Church was without keys, authority, or ordained leadership. It also led to an apostasy where decisions were made without the influence of the Holy Spirit and as a result changes were made to the basic tenets of the pure Gospel. The apostles died. the Church fell into ruins. And ultimately, other faiths (based off of Christian ethics) rose to fill the void. These faiths furthered the expansion of Christianity.

Ultimately, today, we have a clear succession of leadership. There is no infighting. There are no contests to be one. We don't appoint elders to decide who is the best one to lead the body of Saints. In the time of Peter, I would imagine this was true as well; though the succession, after Peter, becomes somewhat ambiguous and as far as the historical record indicates, does not show who would succeed him, who did succeed him (other than a member of the 12), or how that succession took place - it does show how succession was meant to happen and a couple of examples of how it happened.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

The Salamander

This morning started way to bright and way to early for my tastes. This seems to be (more and more) a habit with me. Last week it was (two days in a row) getting up and driving to Salt Lake City, to the airport. At least today was spent going to the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center (the hospital close to campus) so Erin could meet with a doctor about a study he is a part of where they are trying to determine the level of antioxidant vitamins that will help stave off... I don't remember what.

The outcome was that we got a pretty intricate ultrasound (he even dropped into 3D) so we could see the salamander in Erin's belly. There is one (count that... one) in there. No more, no less. That is always pleasant to experience. Seeing that Erin really is pregnant. Sure, the tests indicated she was; and the pee-sticks reacted so fast that it made your head spin; but to see is something else entirely.

Our experience was interesting. We drove around the hospital once before going into the main entrance; riding the elevator to the top; and then picking up a phone and telling the person on the other end we were there for the study. It was a really cool experience, to say the least.

After Erin signed all of the paperwork, read through things, and had the scope and breath of the study explained to her (of which we learned that they are only admitting people for another two weeks AND that the study has been going on since 2002); we were put into the exam room with a machine on the far side of the table Erin was put on... the doctor applied warm gel to her belly, and then proceeded to show us the various internal bits.

There is a baby.

I think the coolest thing about the experience, other than seeing the salamander kick about, was to have him focus in on a little white spot, press a button, and let the heartbeat play across the speakers in the room. At 9 weeks 2 days (age based off of the size of the fetus), we got to hear the heartbeat.

The altered due date is now: September 23, 2008.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 20, 2008

Odd and the Frost Giants

Well, Neil Gaiman wrote a book for some reading drive in England. The title: Odd and the Frost Giants. I pre-ordered it through Amazon.co.uk and expected to see it... sometime in the future. No set dates. You know. I have an account in the U.K. entirely because I occasionally can't find a book I really want, because it's not published here, and so I order it from over yonder, pay the extra scratch, and have it shipped this way.

Anyway, got an email indicating the book is being shipped. The shipping, by the by, is costing more than the book. Think the cover price on the book is something like 10 pence (which means nothing to me); and is a price that is designed to encourage people who might not read to find some books that will enter them into the literate world.

I am excited.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Playing the Game

I had this interesting thought the other day. I was coming out of a test and I don't think I did super-great... well enough to pass and not much better. About halfway through the semester and one of my professors are now taking the time to start testing us. So, I didn't know what to expect (from this guy) going into the test. I had my buttocks kicked.

Anyway, I was walking back across campus (to work) and had this interesting thought strike me:

You are not meant to master the material.

Wow. Think about that. I am not meant to master the material. In fact, I am merely meant to get enough of a grasp (possibly already established, but possibly not) to pass tests and prove that I have the ability to move forward; but I am not meant to master the material.

My time at school will not translate into me knowing everything there is to know about a subject. Being an English major does not mean I will have even a good grasp of literary theory (which is a good thing as I really dislike literary theory and find it one of those things that falls into the realm of reason many professors have a job and excuse to not have any real skills).

So, if I am not meant to master the subjects I am taking, what is it I am meant to do?

Well, that would be a good question if we were having a conversation and you were (also) concerned about your college education.

The answer:

You are meant to get a good enough grasp on the subject matter to determine what you will do with it.

Yeah. That's it. You are supposed to learn enough about the subject to determine whether or not you will pursue it further (in your degree), or if you will forget all about it, grump about having to have that (particular) class, and complain about the poor score forevermore.

Mastery, however, is not within the realm of the undergraduate... or, for that matter, even the graduate student. In fact, mastery is something that professionals do; and those who choose to try and advance the current literature in theory. Theory of English, theory of writing, theory of Evolution, theory of composites, theory of education, theory of family life, theory of music, and etc.

At the point you are advancing theory, that is when you are expected to be a master.

But what makes someone a master of a subject.

Let's look at eLang to try and uncover that.

The professor I have (name withheld to protect the wicked) stood in front of the classroom. He started to spell a word. Turned to the class (a lot of English majors) and asked, "How is this word spelled?" He then proceeded to outline two or three different spellings and then stopped, thought about it for a few seconds, settled on one, and spelled it out, proceeding with his lecture.

As he made his decision, though, we were let into his process of determining the spelling. Specifically, what era of the English Language he was thinking about, how the words were spelled at different points in time; when that particular word entered the language, and how it should be spelled compared to how it is or was spelled. All of this happened in about 45 seconds.

You see, this guy is never on time, he sets very ambiguous standards, he is unkempt a lot of the time, loses track of what he is doing; and has already had to reset his syllabus and reading schedule to account for delays in the semester (caused by him); but when it comes to mastery of his subject (History of the English language) he knew exactly what he was talking, how it applied, why it was applicable to what he was teaching, and how best to translate (within his other skill sets) to his audience, the students.

That denotes mastery.

And that is where we get back to school and my thought as I crossed campus, the other day. I am not meant to master the subject matter. I, however, am meant to understand it enough to pass tests (arbitrary bench marks), and to do well in my education; but I am not meant to master the material.

As an English major, my intent is to have a degree so I can move on and get more degrees. As an individual, my intent is to become good enough at writing to be published in fiction and (maybe) advance the theory on writing education. I am not, however, interested in literary theory or how that plays into literature; I am not interested in how the English Language changed from an offshoot of the Germanic languages with early influences from the Nordic and later influences from the French and Latin (and even more influences from Native North American languages) as well as African, Spanish, and Asian languages. None of this, in truth, advances my ability to adequately do what I want to be doing; but it is required for me to a) pass this calls, and b) move on to whatever comes next.

Mastery is a result of:

  • Interest in the subject
  • Concerted effort to master the subject
  • Practice of material within the subject
  • Feedback on personal goals, theories, and publications on subject
  • Identification as an authority of subject

Some of these things come as a result of education. Because I am a student and because I am trying to advance my education to the PhD level, I will become an expert in some field (this is de facto). On top of that, improving my skills as a writer through concerted efforts and attempts to get published also advances my prominence as an authority. Publishing on the act of writing, the process, and any theories I may have, also advances my prominence as an authority. All of this, ultimately, leads to others looking at me as an authority and asking me to speak, write, teach, and etc. within my chosen field.

As an undergraduate, regardless of skill or time, I am not a qualified master - and graduation will not make me one. It merely allows me onto the path of mastery - a path that allows for a de facto mastery and not always a literal mastery of material.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 19, 2008

Verbal Political Spew

Well, it is Tuesday. You all know that yesterday was President's Day. Go Presidents. Well, some. I am not fond of G.W., am hoping for Obama, disliked Slick-Willie (regardless of the amount of fun he produced as president), didn't mind (so much) the senior Bush, except for the blurb: "Read my lips, no new taxes," and then he hiked taxes. Go figure.

As a child, I was inculcated with Reagan, and have to say I like him... liked his biography... enjoy his economics. Not many presidents actually have an economic plan, they just rehash something else and try to claim it as their own.

Liassez Faire Economics. Yeah. It's all about spin.

My parents disliked Carter, I dislike Carter (now, not then as I was really too young) and wonder how this nation could vote for such a man; but hey, we have a few elections where, apparently, we are willing to vote for anyone. Can anyone say: John Kerry.

Nixon was a joke and Ford was an even bigger joke.

Makes you wonder, really, how people can fall behind a political party where the leaders spew out so many bad choices that you begin to wonder whether there is any real leadership in the world, or not. Seriously.

G.W. will go down in history as one of the worst leaders this country has had. Regardless of who the next president is (and it won't be a Republican, folks) he/she won't be much better than our current misanthrope. Right now I like Obama for his lack of experience over his vast time in the Senate. Wait, two years is nothing. He is still a Freshman. And, I think, that is the point. He doesn't have experience or insight that the other party (either party) candidates have and as a result, he makes me want to fall in line and support him to the top.

Besides, he is the only one who can't screw it all up any worse than everyone else.

The best news I'd heard this year was that Ron Paul (Ron who??? Yeah, man from Texas who is a doctor, delivered thousands of babies, and (before this election) has run as an independent for President) might relaunch his bid to be president through the independent process. Granted, he is no Ross Perot (who I will not vote for again), but he will pull votes from the conservative base as a result, those votes will lead to whomever the Democrat contender is becoming president.

Remember Perot? Yes, I voted for the man way back in '92. I am proud of that. My first, real, political decision. Yeah, anyway, both times he pulled from the conservative base causing (first) senior Bush and then BobDole (a combined name like AlGore... go figure) to lose enough of the vote in every state to give it to Slick-Willie.

Don't get me wrong, I dislike both parties and I believe the worst possible candidate for President is John McCain (followed closely by Hillary Rodham Clinton - still looking for a suitable moniker for her). He is not a conservative. Well, he is a conservative in the sense that a Republican from New York State (or most of the northeast) is a conservative. He is more likely to vote with the Liberal side of an issue, he is anti-establishment (which you would think would be a plus (for me) in his check column), but in such a way that he is actually only anti-establishment so long as it doesn't affect his job (senator) or his paycheck (lots-o-money people).

The fact that Romney (maybe next time Mitt) and the senior Bush and others of the conservative base are getting behind McCain is because he has become the candidate of choice for the people as a result of which the party leaders (ex-presidents, influential congressman and senators, mayors, candidates, governors, and etc.) either fall behind the man or throw their support behind someone else thereby disenfranchising the core conservative population.

Sure, they could do what they did with Senator Lieberman when he didn't get the Democratic nomination nod for his seat in the senate. They stopped backing their own candidate (what was his name again???) and fell in line with Lieberman, supporting him over the Democrat who took Joe's spot. The rhetoric: It is better to have the monster we know, than the monster we don't know. And, "No," Lieberman is not a monster.

Which really lends itself to the Lieberman/McCain combination. They vote a lot alike. Lieberman was the running mate to AlGore. Lieberman is, undoubtedly, a liberal... and yet we allow McCain, because of a party difference/distinction, to be a conservative and to have the support of the conservative base and leadership.

You know, being liberal in Utah is being slightly more conservative than, say, an stereotypical Mormon housewife. It means that you don't vote, without serious contemplation, for the Conservative base, and often you vote Democrat because he/she/it is not Republican.

No, Republican is not the official party of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In fact, according to the church, we hold no official (or unofficial) political position on most things. There was the Equal Rights Amendment, but, you know, creating a new amendment to The Constitution that further declared what was already law and needed better enforcing would've created true inequality in this nation... or I could've succumbed to the propaganda against the ERA, you decide.

Hilary as president means that her attempts at universal and socialized health care will have a better chance of succeeding. Not her first term. She does learn; but that second term in office, when she isn't stumping for reelection, she will push (and how) for that reform. She does have an agenda. Most people do. However, Hilary also has a past that is not very positive and decries her ability to lead the country at any time.

Do we need a female president? Yup. And I think we can have one in the near future. I just pray that it is not Hilary. She is bad news. If she gets the nomination, though, you will get to see how bad the news is when it comes to that woman.

Watched a Saturday Night Live skit the other night where she was congratulating herself on winning the election (for President) and that all of her opponents (not past) never had a chance against her; and that she was going to serve two terms - and that the term limits needed to be erased so she could, effectively, serve as President longer, only to have Bill stick his head in on occasion and comment (very funny - though the actress portraying Hillary didn't look like her and certainly didn't sound like her... so, essentially SNL had to tell me who she was for me to understand); though, rumor and gristmill had many of the same rumors floating around Slick-Willie as his terms as president came to an end.

Who should be president? That's a great question. You know, at present, I don't think we've seen our next great leader. No. I don't think it is Romney. It's not Hilary. It's not McCain (we will be lucky if McCain makes it out of office alive... yes, he is that old). It is (most likely) not Obama. But the untested and untried among us can frequently stand taller when put to the test. Sure, he sounds a lot like a preacher, but maybe, just maybe, we need a president who really does believe in God... and not just the convenient one that allows him to stand on the bullypulpit and spew out rhetoric to cause fear among his constituents (and yes, G.W., I am speaking at you).

What I do know, in all of this, is that we have a very large field of losers and bad choices and I think it is getting time for a significant change in the way politics play out in this country. Different leaders, different ways of finding those leaders. Different approaches.

Oh, and regardless of all else, we will have the third President that was also a Senator elected this year. The last one was John F. Kennedy. I don't remember who the first was.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 18, 2008

No School and No Work

There was no school and no work today. So? What did I do?

Well, I studied all day long, ran some errands, and iced and then warmed a hurt leg most of the day. I made bread, cleaned the kitchen, made the bed, and shaved. I noticed, this morning, a rather good growth on my face which meant that I'd not shaved in a few days. Now I am smooth and clean shaved.

This evening Erin and I studied Spanish with her running through the early verbs in the book and making me speak back to her in Spanish. It was good.

I cooked dinner.

No shocked looks, please. I can cook.

On top of which, on Saturday, we finally purchased a KitchenAid mixer and now I need to find something to mix in it. Probably brownies as I have a mix I can eat and haven't tried yet. Would've made Erin's cake a lot easier... and the homemade butter frosting. The remnants of which got tossed the other day.

That's it for now.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 15, 2008

The Day after Yesterday

Well, I got up this morning and worked out on the elliptical trainer. After that I discovered I needed to tighten some of the capscrews that hold it together (in a lot of places), watched the first 45 minutes to an hour of Stardust checked email, showered, shaved, and then packed my bag and headed off to school. We (a group in my elang class) had to get together for a defense of a project we had (a couple of weeks ago) where we were defending our choices for why different translations of the New Testament were closest to the Septuagent Greek and which ones were the easiest to read and etc.

Apparently (and I can only share this because I don't share my blog with classmates), we were the best group by a long distance with actual reasons for our decisions as well as creating hypothesis, challenging our own assertions, and then changing according to what we'd determined. This was all done, effectively, in less than two hours of group work. What this means, we get the highest grade and spent a majority of our defense describing our process.

After that I decided to skip Spanish and head to the library to listen to Gail Carson Levine, author of Ella Enchanted, speak in the English Writer's Series.

I don't know what I was expecting, as I rarely (only once before today, actually), go and listen to published authors speak. I am interested in getting their ideas, and for those who believe that they should share (in writing or via blog) their ideas on writing fiction, I can find what I am looking for through the written word.

However, I wanted to listen to Levine speak. I enjoyed her book Ella Enchanted, enjoyed the movie based off of it (though I like it for its differences from the book), and purchased and have scanned, flipped through, and done some reading in her book on writing fantasy fiction.

I don't know if the experience was worth it, but I didn't mind being there either. I did note that we had a couple of my teammates going to the reading series and one of them did not transition from the reading series into class. That was a little disappointing as the group of us could've, easily, gloated without anyone knowing we were gloating (that's what happens with the Professor and his TA both tell your team you've done something no one else has); but instead we watched a movie on the transition of English language during the 11th through... err, maybe 15th century England.

There were wars. Famines. Plagues. And other things. Essentially, the rise of English as a language came about more as a result of the black plague than because English (as a language) was really more adoptable than French. We speak the way we do as a result of a plague which, in turn, created a middle class that spoke, dominantly, English leaving the aristocrats and aristocracy to adapt or die.

Which lends itself to being interesting as a result of the novel I am trying to read: Elantris by Brandon Sanderson (the writer who is finishing Book 12 for the Robert Jordan estate (actually James Oliver Rigney... but, you know, keep the myth alive)). I find it interesting in that it is, against all odds, actually good fantasy (and epic at that) reading. Moreover, one of the tenets of the books, and themes, is that Sanderson discusses the tenuous nature of aristocracy within a fledgling nation and how the merchant class of people rose to power; and moreover (and only in the first 100 pages or so) how easy it is to turn people (and other nobles) away from the current governmental body toward another governing body - and religion.

Sanderson is actually playing with the notion of religion and politics and how they intertwine, as well as social and customary beliefs and superstitions along with misunderstanding the world around them.

Moreover, he introduces, relatively quickly, a strong female presence and then plays against that stereotype by having her act dumb in many instances.

The book is, against odds, turning into a very enjoyable read (for me). Though, with Spanish, with Elang, with work, and with New Testament and American Government, finding time to read it is an option of beating my head against tomorrow's homework or taking a break for a few minutes to enjoy some good writing.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 14, 2008

Again with the updates

Last night came and went. I thought, for about ten seconds, that I should probably sit down and write something... and then I didn't. It was a little frustrating. Not because I didn't want to write something; but because I didn't want to sit in front of my computer to do it.

You see... I got up very early in the morning to take Erin's brother to the airport. Again. Two times in two days. I am, you see, the best option for transporting people to and from airports early in the morning as I am a full-time student with a pretty flexible (on campus) job) with the ability to get out of things and sleep later in the day.

The outcome, I got home around 6:30 (having left around 4:30) and slept for an hour or two, then went to school before turning back around and (skipping out of work) coming home to sleep some more. When I woke up, I really felt like I needed, wanted more rest... but since Erin was home/getting home, I was awake for the rest of the night.

I did get to try a new "Rice Noodle Bowl" we found at Harmon's the other day. We also found Gluten Free waffles (of the toaster variety) only for me to remember that we moved (and by we, I really mean Erin) the toaster so that we lessened the chance of contaminating the food that I eat. Which means, we have Erin's toast, toaster (wheat based foods) and I get to figure out how to prepare (heat up and make crunchy) the non-wheat waffles that are now sitting in the freezer for me.

The rice noodles were actually pretty good. I think they were good in part because I don't have a taste-memory of wheat noodles anymore (it's been about two years now folks). I find it interesting that these changes are happening and that I am finding new foods tasty. Still a bit weary about a lot of foods, still checking labels like there is no tomorrow... but the outcome is proving to be rather nice. Nice. Yeah.

Not a lot to report. If you want to see some of what I am working on (or track progress on learning CSS) you can go to http://www.inordertowrite/TTDOAW/. The capital letters on the end of that URL line are important as the server it sits on is CASE sensitive when it comes to names, directories, and etc. This site is subject to change, a lot, and often, if you've gone and see it different than the last time, refreshing every couple of minutes may prove that the site is, again, different... especially if it is in the middle of the day.

Beyond that, not sure I have a lot to say at present...

Well, Mitt Romney threw his support behind John McCain. I am of the opinion that Barack Obama is going to the be the next president. I will not vote for McCain or Rodham-Clinton. So... I guess, if that is the choice (I don't believe that Rodham-Clinton will get her parties nomination) then I may go for another (in my life) third party candidate (e.g. Ron Paul if he really launches a 3rd party bid).

The Chairman of the Fed has told Congress that he expects that the economy is getting worse.

The President has signed another economic stimulus package and, apparently, has already started asking for additional money to help the economy.

Gas prices are still way, way too high.

My parents are still on a mission.

And Erin is still pregnant. If I haven't shared yet, her due date (according to the doctor) is September 28, 2008. We are excited.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

800

I was going to post something ... odd ... for this entry but this is entry number:

800

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 12, 2008

Founding Principles

The United States was founded on a simple principle: the pursuit of happiness. This is not the only principle; however, it is one that we misinterpret a lot - believing that we should be allowed to live how and where we may. However, what the founding fathers actually meant was the ability for people (men originally) to own land and therefore move away from the feudal system that existed (exists???) in England.

As a result, ownership of land has been (at times) one of the basis's for voting. You had to have "x" amount of land (often at least 50 acres) to be allowed to vote in common and general elections; otherwise, you were not afforded that liberty.

During and after the American Revolution, this qualification (for voting) changed so that people who served in the military had the right to vote, and then people who met certain age (and gender) requirements were allowed to vote. Eventually, we get to where we are today where land ownership, though still a desired quality, is not one of the qualifications for voting.

Over the past several years, though, more and more people have bought into the idea that they need to own a piece of real estate. Buy a house. You can afford a house, a condo, something. And I agree that, as a result of the "American Dream" home ownership does lend itself to fulfilling what the founding fathers intended: land ownership. Though, at the same time, quantity of land is no longer as applicable as owning something to plant roots on and leave for children and grandchildren.

Which means that millions of people have purchased smaller and smaller parcels and placed homes on them. Other's don't even own any of the land their home sits on; rather, the home is a part of a large structure they have purchased a portion of... a series of rooms and etc.

The outcome, though, is not htat ownership isn't a quality that we look forward to, desire, need, or want (as a nation), but that we have allowed the rampant inclusion of inflation in the prices of homes. As a capitalist nation, a free-market economy is one where demand directly influences price; however, the United States is not a free-market economy. We mirror one, in many aspects, but taxes, price restrictions, import and export rules all dictate the way in which we are allowed to do business.

That rule, the rule of law, seems to be negated when considering the housing market in this country. Rather than control inflation or dictate what is reasonable in the pricing structures of new and existing houses, people have been allowed to force the price of houses up several hundred percent over (slightly more than) ten years.

This is inflation. It has been rampant.

As a result of the inflation and the desire for people to own houses, the mortgage market has adjusted to allow people to afford the houses (at prices) they cannot afford. Instead of a max-term 30 year mortgage (mortgages traditionally run in 5, 15, and 30 year mortgages) the term limits have been extended to 40-plus years.

Moreover, in order to work through a regular Prime mortgage that tops out, for most people, at 100,000$, the financial industry has created the sub-prime market which, in effect, creates a second mortgage on the property.

On top of that financial institutions have also created things like equity lines of credit, equity loans, equity credit cards, all of which borrow money against what you have paid for in the house. Again, this is another mortgage on property that is designed to fulfill one of the core beliefs of this nation, pursuit of happiness.

What the outcome has become is a rush on property similar to rushes on gold, rushes on railroad investments, and rushes on internet stocks.

Why is this all important?

Well, we elect officials into the different bodies of assembly and we elect presidents - the only people we don't elect are the Supreme Court Justices... as a result of which, for the Congress (combined House and Senate) to keep their jobs it is imperative that they appear to be doing as much for the common man as is possible. If the common man is going to lose his house, our elected officials have to try and stop this from happening. Effectively, if the common man is going to lose his job, these same individuals find it necessary to try and help common man.

And yet, the measures that are being put forward to help people retain houses they could not afford when they bought them; and really cannot afford now that interest rates are shifting (up), is forcing our elected officials, who want to keep their jobs, to step in and try to stop the forclosures that are taking place.

At present, they are passing bills (that turn into laws) that will put a stop-gap of one month on foreclosure proceedings giving people more of a chance to try and catch up on their payments.

The unfortunate thing, though, is that people are not going to catch up payments. They are not going to magically start making more money in an economy where wages have not kept up with inflation. Rather, this stop gap, for the vast majority of people will only delay the resultant end and the house will be foreclosed upon. The outcome will be that someone (a lot of someone's) will lose the American Dream because they were sold a bill of goods that they could afford to buy in a sellers market at inflated prices rather than waiting for a time when they were better off financially or had secured a better loan (fixed interest rates, people).

The unfortunate thing is that the Congress has not stopped the collapse that is taking place, nor have they done anything to significantly delay the bottom from falling out of the housing market. Yes, it is true that historically housing (and land) is a very stable investment, but even stable investments cannot withstand the unbiased scrutiny the market will place on the rate of inflation.

Essentially, an economic depression is a means of resetting (to more reasonable levels) the economy so that it can begin to grow again. What is necessary (for this country - and possibly the world) is a recession to reset the housing market and the U.S. economy so that we are better prepared to move forward.

Yes, people (a lot of people) will lose their shirts. The mortgage market will have to adjust. And yes, people will buy houses that, today, sell for millions at a significantly smaller value. New houses being built will diminish and relatively new houses will go on the market at significant losses to homeowners and the mortgage companies that own them.

What has led to where we are, right now, has been avarice and greed. What is necessary is for the market to be allowed to reset.

So, when Alan Greenspan suggests that the economy is going into a depression, I think that this is a good thing. It is bad, in the sense that people will be out of work; it is bad because the government will pay people more money in tax refunds rather than use it for what it is intended; it is bad because unemployment benefits will be extended for longer; and it is bad because getting loans and new business's will be stunted for a period of time. However, it is good because the result will be a stronger economy, a stronger dollar, and a stronger housing market on the other side.

It is better because we will know (for a period of years) what not to do as a nation. And it is better because we need to have the rampant inflation put into check.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 11, 2008

Spawn and Swag

Well, Erin turned *cough cough* on Friday, and was sick... so spent about twenty minutes playing Guitar Hero 2 on her new Playstation2. Her brother spent about the same amount of time playing the game, apparently Guitar Hero 2 has more rock ballads (that I grew up with) than Guitar Hero 3 (which is what introduced Erin to the Guitar Hero games), causing him to want to play Erin's version - and, apparently, his guitar is not working properly anymore.

I think, after I spent a good portion of the day making large messes with a dual layer cake and homemade butter frosting, the outcome was a good day for Erin. No, there were no balloons (gross) or streamers (ACK!!!), but I did try to make the day special for her and I hope that I succeeded.

Apparently, my shifting away from my avoiding birthdays-slash-holidays to make something special for her helps reaffirm that I am going to be a good papa, father, padre, male-parent, and etc.

We didn't go see the play we were meant to see on Friday night (because of illness), which didn't bother me so much... I was just trying to make the night special. Erin's brother did come over (already said that) and hung out for a while, until one of his friends called and he took off to hang out (and probably play more Guitar Hero)... I got Bajio, which is always fun - especially when they overfill my order and I can't eat it all.

On Saturday, we basically hung out around the house before heading north to Logan. Logan is a long, long, long drive from Provo; but we were (a little) obligated to go and support one of Erin's friends who is performing with the Young Ambassador's this year. The YA's are a group that sing and dance, according to a theme, for groups of people and, every year, travel to a distant country singing and dancing as a means of sharing with that country. Since we didn't hear about the performances (on campus) until it was too late to go (sold out) we ended up buying tickets for Logan and then driving up.

I have to say, the trip was worth it - even with Erin not feeling well on the way up (and our making a stop only to discover that what I'd been told, repeatedly, had been untrue), me needing to make an emergency stop at a Walgreens, and then arriving at the theatre and waiting amidst a large (and growing) group of old and young, many of whom felt they were entitled to be allowed in (and seated) before the group that had been standing at least as long as Erin and me.

Anyway, we got our seats, row four, center, in the orchestra, to watch the YA's.... It was, hands down, a better show than what we went and saw last year.

On to Sunday, and Erin was definitely not well. Her teaching partner (for Primary) announced that she would be out of town for a month (something that sounds a lot like the boy crying, "Wolf!" to me as she has told Erin repeatedly that they would be out of town for days and weeks and never leaves town) and then I brought Erin home because her voice was gone and she needed rest.

Fortunately, I was able to share my body pillow with her, which allowed her to rest and sleep for several hours. I worked on stuff, watched some TV, and generally avoided the bedroom as I (apparently) start out snoring and can disrupt Erin from sleeping.

This morning, we went to see the doctor for the first time. That was an experience. I think I am referring to these visits as OB's. Anyway, the product of our being there was for Erin to learn that "Yes" she is pregnant, "No" there is no need for an ultrasound, she (la doctora) will perform one at week 20, and "Yes" the next time we visit we should be able to hear the heart beat.

We also learned that if Erin is carrying twins, the "bump" will be above her bellybutton, otherwise, it generally forms below the bellybutton for the first large chunk of the pregnancy.

Moreover, we learned that la doctora is a strong advocate of breast feeding and prenatal vitamins. Though she did not go on (as long) about the prenatal vitamins as she did about breast feeding - a list that had to equal the gross national product of most small nations in length and size - she did go on about both and the necessary benefits they had on a) a healthy pregnancy; and b) the life of the child and chances for problems later on.

Anyway, we go about in about three weeks (a little more) and get to hear a heart beat, bump-bump, bump-bump, which should prove to be more fun than we had today.

Outside of that, the department's (I work for) website got hacked last week. Which is interesting to be on the receiving end of a hack. They changed the code back to what it is supposed to be, though you couldn't see the additional data anyway, and then showed it to me. I tried to access the data and access logs; but couldn't go back far enough to see the IP address of the person who did it. I turned on more recording of access on the server, checked the files for additional uploaded material, and then called it good.

On top of that, I am still learning .CSS. I admit, I will probably be a long-time in working this out and becoming proficient at it; but by the time I am done (with the book I am using) I should be good enough to know the ins and outs of the site I am being paid to work on - AND I will have actually created an HTML document with a CSS stylesheet attached to it. So... this is proving to be good and interesting.

The next step: tackling basic PHP programming followed by PHP and MySQL. So, I am prepping myself to be semi-good at what I do, though proficient and an expert are still (most likely) a long way (to never) off. I like being good at what people are paying me... and not just having a job because I CAN edit stuff, and I CAN make an HTML page, and I CAN provide proof of ability; and I CAN write (which is one of the biggie reasons I was hired).

Here's to programming languages (web-programming).

That's about it. Cheers.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Pricess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 8, 2008

Happy Birthday Erin

Happy Birthday Erin!!!

Today is Erin's birthday. I won't share her age, if she wants the world to know than she will share. However, this is the second birthday I've had the opportunity to share with her and it just keeps getting better and better.

Last year, I got her a series of (something like) eight gifts ranging from rings (placeholder engagement rings) to pajamas (with feet) to... well, a year has passed and I don't need to share everything. This year I got her a birthday card. Yup, you heard it correctly. A birthday card.

It was a nice card. I thought it matched her personality. She said it matched mine. I think Erin is off the mark; but then, what do I know?

Outside of that, she got her present from her padres yesterday and since I've already been out to the mailbox, has three additional cards waiting for her today.

I am totally happy that Erin was borned, is married to me, and gets to celebrate another birthday.

One more time:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 7, 2008

Year of the Rat

Happy Year of the Rat.

Today marks the Chinese New Year and this year is all about rats.

According to this website the Year of the Rat promises that those born in this year will be leaders, pioneers, and conquerors.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

February 6, 2008

Dragon Hunter - the movie

Well, if you remember (or have been over to Erin's site) Erin and I were featured extras in a movie over this past summer titled: Dragon Hunter. Since then, we have lost track of what is going on with the production as much of our information came from the Cameraman's website. However, as he was an unpleasant person and his website only conveys that further and because he stopped updating with any information, it kind of fell by the wayside.

However, today I discovered that I am working with a the Producer on the movie. We talked. He shared that the trailer was located on YouTube and on his website and that I could check it out.

I tried to explain who Erin and I were, to this guy, but I am not sure it got very far until I played the trailer and paused it on each instance of Erin and me. There are a couple. They go by quickly. Erin is a little embarassed that this hit the light of day. She actually looks like she is screaming. She made no noise whatsoever - in case you were wondering. Embedded, for your viewing pleasure, is the trailer (not approved for all audiences and, really, not all that interesting).

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Some Years Ago

Some years ago, before I started blogging, before I moved to the east coast, New Hampshire, before I decided to try one more time to get into BYU... back when I wasn't sure where my life was going, and after my dad decided to sit down and tell me what he (and my mother) thought about the direction my life had taken; back at that time in my life I helped, one day, move a family out of a house and into an apartment.

For sake of privacy, the "man of the house" was a twenty-something named R-. R- and his sister were mentally challenged adults who required special assistance, special programs, and whose family pulled in an amount of money each month, from the Government to assist in living expenses and etc. R- and his hometeachers* announced for weeks prior to this move that they had to move, that they needed to move, and requested help repeatedly.

Somehow I was volunteered to help. As memory serves, the roommate I had at the time, the guy I rented a room from, asked me to come and assist for a couple of hours. He was closer to 40, at the time, and I was kissing 30. The outcome, I went and helped.

I don't know how to accurately, or adequately, paint the picture of this house. If you've ever lived in Utah and have seen the houses that are 100+ years old, you might get an idea of the house these kids and their mother lived in. It was not new, the house was definitely old. The house also sat right next to train tracks and face the street, to the left of the front porch was a guard rail that stopped traffic when a train came charging through the neighborhood.

These were not the best of circumstances.

The reason R- and his family were being removed, though, was entirely the result of them. It was not because they didn't pay rent; but rather because the house had, since they'd moved into it, become almost entirely uninhabitable.

When we (the members of our LDS ward or congregation) entered the house expecting things to be packed we were not surprised that nothing was packed. That the mother, R-, his sister, had done nothing knowing, for a couple of months, that they would be moving. We'd been told, repeatedly, that everything, or most everything, would be packed and that all we had to do was load it into a truck and move it to the apartment or storage unit they were renting.

Nothing was packed. Nothing ready to go. And our appearance seemed more of an upsetting event to the family than one of gratitude or thankfulness that we'd bothered to set aside our plans for a Saturday, all day, and come and assist.

Because of my relationships with people at that time, I called more people and asked that they come over.

The outcome was that we had both men and women from our congregation helping move a family that didn't, to all appearances, desire to move.

That was not the worst of it.

The worst thing that we encountered, in the process of trying to get R- and his family out of the house came when we started into the basement to move the furniture and beds out of the basement. This is where R- and his sister lived (in separate rooms). The moment you descended into the basement your nose was hit with the putrescence of urine and feces emanating from everything. The family had a dog that they did not let out of the house, nor did they clean up after it when it defecated and urinated on the floor. The outcome was both disgusting and gut wrenching.

When the girls from our congregation went downstairs to try and assist with the moving, they got sick. My roommate got sick. Eventually, there were only a couple of us and R-, whom I had to ride every step of the way, to move the belongings out of the basement and into the truck.

What got me about that day, and what I found important, was the absolute squalor and filth that these people lived in. They lived in filth and stink and disease and expected that the world, and the Relief Society** would step in and save them from themselves. They expected that we would just gloss over everything and do the work for them. I guess, as mentally handicapped individuals, they should expect that as society has conditioned them that if they are not willing or able to take care of themselves then the government or the church will step in and take care of them.

What got me, though, was not - so much - the squalor but that R- had, as a result of his activity within the church and the special needs program gotten a girl pregnant out of wedlock. He had a baby that he shared (or more accurately his mother shared) custody with the wife (or more accurately her parents). This child lived in this home several days a week, went up and down the stairs, and had to spend time in the squalor and filth that these people lived in.

As an aside, what really interested me is that the nature of the retardation in both parents does not actually transfer from parent to child. The child was normal. However, rather than give it up for adoption because neither of the biological parents had the ability to take care of it, the grandparents stepped in and insisted upon keeping the child. This I may never understand.

Back to what I was writing about...

As we moved things, shifting from the house into the garage, we would come across things that were broken. I would like to think (I know in many cases) that I can fix a lot of things. I got this from my dad. I may not want to, but I can; and as a result of that ability, I will occasionally insist that we don't get rid of something simply because it is broken. Rather, depending on how important the item is, I will generally go out of my way to fix things - or not. Recently, I've discovered myself wantonly throwing things away that I intend to fix, but have been sitting in boxes or on shelves far too long to the point that they are no longer relevant or worthy my time.

However, with R-, I would come across things that I could see were not fixable and would say, "R- we need to throw this away."

He would look at me, look at the object, and say, "I am going to fix that," or, "It's a family heirloom."

I think that what sometimes happens in a person's life, like R-'s, is that they find out that people will insist upon doing something, like throwing a cherished piece of trash away, and nothing the person says will stop the act of throwing away what is clearly junk... until they hit up, "family heirloom," or some similar phrase. In R-'s case, and his sister and mother, "family heirloom" explained a lot of things that were literally just broken junk that could neither be salvaged nor recycled and as a result needed to go to the dump.

Nothing doing.

That day we moved several truck loads to a storage unit that ended up being filled with junk, trash, and the remnants of squalor that came with the way the family was living.

One of the thoughts that is associated with this day is the realization that when there is a lack of leadership in something, I am willing to step in and take charge. This is not something I want to do, and certainly not something I look forward to doing. What was evidenced, to me, of that day is that I had to call women from our congregation and more men to come and assist in the process. It was up to me to direct the flow of movement and traffic and to make sure that people like R- were engaged in the activities that were the most felicitous to the day.

As the day wore on, and other responsibilities appeared, it was up to me to tell the different people they needed to leave to go and fulfill other responsibilities. And then to finish, not alone but rather close to it, the work with R- and his family, make sure the moving truck was returned, that the house was (mostly) empty, and that our involvement in the endeavor could come to an end.

I don't enjoy situations like that; but will step up when no clear leadership or direction is given.

On the flipside, I am just as happy to stand back and let someone else lead. I am happy to be a part of the congregation or crowd and to allow the events and decisions come from someone who is in charge. I don't mind. In many cases that is the way I would prefer things to be.

I do have a desire, though, and that is the ability, in some small way, to participate in the groups and activities that I am (by nature of my religion) a part of. I want to help somehow.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

*A hometeacher is someone who is assigned to check in on families within the church, share personalized messages with them, and report any temporal or spiritual needs to the Bishop
**The Relief Society is not only the oldest women's organization in the world, is it also the group that helps with many of the temporal needs of the members of our church and members of the community. This is strictly a women's organization.
***A Branch is a smaller group of members of the LDS faith who are not large enough to create a Ward. They are led by a Branch President instead of a Bishop; though the structure of Wards and Branches are often very similar, they mostly differ in size.