One Week
Well, it’s been one week. I guess what gets me is that the idea of the fire and the reality of the fire are kind of separating themselves in my mind. A week ago the reality was all I could think about. The fact that it had happened was a bit overwhelming. Now, the idea that there was a fire is really what is important to me rather than the reality. Truth told, I was interested in finding a way to sell or get out of the “contract” on the place I was living in and now I am wondering where I will end up living when I find a place. There are a couple of possibilities, area-wise, but they depend on whether or not I go after an internship. I want one, I want a specific internship, and yet, I am still in limbo there.
In the past week all of my belongings have been moved to Jared’s house. I appreciate them being out of the burned out structure. It makes for an interesting personal situation as I know I have something, reference-wise, and yet, I am at a loss for where to find it or how quickly I can get my hands on it before I can start using it. Which, in turn, makes the whole homework and assignment thing a bit of a chore as I consider what I have, what I need to get my hands on, and how much time needs to be allotted to such tasks. So, in that sense, the whole fire thing has been somewhat perplexing.
I keep forgetting how much time is involved in a commute and what that does to my personal schedule. When I live five seconds from wherever I need to be, the commute isn’t really a factor and I can just do what I think needs to be done rather quickly. The idea of travel time is non-consequential. Now, I have to REALLY think about it before I start to commit myself to stuff.
Anyway, the landlord has already given me back my deposit. Electricity, for last month, was insane. Chances of my finding the roommates to get them to help pay that bill is next to nil. The house was condemned, which I think I shared – if not, sorry – and work to gut and rebuild starts tomorrow. Literally. Stated, everything should be out, if not, it won’t be available until after the rebuild. My stuff was out, but when I went by, Friday night, to gather stuff, they had stacks sitting near the front door. Hopefully, the roommate who still had things there got it all out yesterday or today.
The ward I am technically still a part of has been trying to help. Many friends and family have come out of the woodwork to make sure things are going okay for me. I appreciate all of this. It’s nice that, when in an emergency, you can rely upon people in your life. As stated, it could’ve been a lot worse, I am glad it was not and that, for the most part, I’ve not needed to ask for more help than has been accepted.
My next steps, for those who care, is to figure out what is next and then to find a place to live in accordance with what is next. It is to send the parentals off on an LDS Church mission for the next six months. And to do whatever needs to be done so that things progress as they are wont to.
Outside of that life is all about school and work and school and work. My boss doesn’t know this, yet, but I intend to stop working for him once the book project it done. I will admit that, that, like many other things, are decisions that are spurned by the realization of what the fire means to me. I am done, in some areas of my life, sitting on the fence and hedging my bets (can I mix those metaphors?) and making decisions for good or ill. At the same time, the one decision, work-wise, is influenced by something else that has happened to (and around) me with the whole job thing. So. Here I come.
There’s more, but I think this is enough for now.
One thought, though: After the fire one of the guys started making jokes about how 9/11 would no longer be the defining moment in our lives. He was having fun with the whole situation and deflecting the reality of what was happening. I totally understand that. However, as I’ve thought about it, this may become one of those defining moments for me. Granted, one of my friends wrote me an e-mail telling me I could rewrite if I’d lost and there is some truth to that; but the reality is that a lot of the writing, journals, would be lost and there would be no recovery. As a result, there is a personal need to put together a backup plan for my writing, digital and otherwise, as well as a protection plan for those things that can’t be backed up.
Yes, I can rewrite, but there are things, elements, that are not rewritable and never will be. A record of my life. Dad once said to me that it was a waste of my time to write if I never published. That the only way a writer would ever be remembered was to get things published. Otherwise, I am just some guy who likes to write a lot and has files and shelves of things he’s put to paper.
With all that said, this has spurred me on to get my act together. Get something done. Protect what I can in case the worst were to happen again. Get insurance for those things that I own that can be replaced. And backup what I can.
9/11 will still be one of those defining moments in my life. But on top of that, the fire becomes something that defines how I deal with the smaller aspects of what I am doing and helps to push me forward in the larger areas of what I want to be doing.
Done.