Broken Conversations
I?ve discovered something about myself today. I have this need for the people around me, when speaking to me, to actually talk to me and not find distractions with everyone that walks up.
I share a cubicle with a guy who is between the ages of 22 and 24. When I got to work this morning he proceeded to begin a conversation with me that included an incident he?d had with a customer this morning. Instead of talking to me after initiating the conversation he kept turning his attention to every person that walked up. Admittedly, this was rude and frustrating because this same individual constantly asks me for help and wants me to be available for him when he is stuck with a problem.
My problem arose after three separate occasions where he kept sparking new conversations with people in the middle of a sentence with me and then, a few minutes later, turning back to me to try and continue (read start all over again) where he left off. After the second time I suggested he finish what he was telling me or I wouldn?t be holding any conversations with him today, and then after the third time I turned back to my computer and emphatically stated, ?We will not be discussing anything today.?
He laughed and said, ?You?ll talk to me later. I understand.? And that was the problem, he didn?t understand. He, like so many other people, didn?t realize that what he was doing by initiating conversations with everyone and their monkey was rude. Very rude.
I don?t personally expect the world to stop for me. In fact, I find it very uncomfortable when people put me first, but conversations, when initiated by an individual, deserve that person attention and I wasn?t receiving any of his attention today.
The feeling I had, as I dealt with this first thing in the morning, seemed akin to what I am told women have when men talk to their breasts and not to them. ?Hey, it?s me, up here, not the pieces of flesh hanging off of my chest.? ?I?m more than my assets you dolt.? Personally, I?ve never had anyone tell me that, but at the same time I?ve dealt with enough male friends who have that the idea isn?t completely foreign to me.
What is foreign to me is someone who feels like they can talk to a body part, or in today?s example, to everyone but the person they claim they are having a conversation with. I will admit that for most people, these days, I am not very loquacious. You can?t get me to do a lot of talking. Church kinda burned that out of me when enough people complained that my comments were taking classes outside of their realms of understanding (and generally my comments are designed to draw people back to the basics of the gospel). However, when you start a conversation with someone it needs to be with that person, not a body part, not people around you, not a computer, not your telephone; you should be talking to the person you started the conversation with.
This is akin to going out on a date with someone (in my case chick) and then spending time talking to the waitress because she?s attractive, talking to the movie attendant, a friend-girl, answering phone calls, or anything else that would suggest that the person you agreed to go on a date with is less important than asking them out or agreeing to go out with them. You just don?t do that.
There is so very little that is more important than what you are doing right now that it amazes me that people don?t quite get that. If you are going to start a conversation, and keep in mind that I don?t initiate many these days, then you need to follow through on what you initiated. My coworker did not do that today. It made me mad. I am still upset that he would sit next to me during the day, in training, etc., and not get it that I stop what I am doing during the length and term of our conversations.
I would no more turn and start talking to someone else when he is trying to tell me something than I would sit and flagrantly rip of my clothes and streak in a public place. That is not appropriate.
I?m just amazed at how rude we?ve all become. How callous and rude our behaviors run. I?m not trying to castigate this coworker. That wouldn?t be fair. However, I didn?t speak to him most of the day and he found that he had to go to other resources to get answers to his questions. As a result of that he found that his call times suffered as a result. I?m no genius, and in truth I am just really good at finding the answers, but in this case, I also find that my tolerance for the behavior I was subjected to today isn?t very high.
Maybe its old age, or older age, but I feel that people should know better and they don?t.